As I am getting older I see that I’m again and again making the same mistake. I always let myself believe that people actually care for me and allow my hope to soar up. And finally, when my feet leave the ground and I fly, it’s just mere moments and the reality crashes me down to the ground.

My heart breaks over and over and no one gives even a side glance. Even in my own family I always come last on the list of priorities. It’s really baffling how many times a heart breaks and it only gets harder to survive each time.

Am I that unlovable, that even the one friend I trust the most and love the most used me and took advantage of me. I know that I have a percentage of the responsibility for that mistake but shouldn’t they be more empathetic than taking advantage of my pushover traits. Or, am I too selfish to wish for a little attention, a bit of affection?

Sometimes I think that detaching from the world is the only solution, I even mock test being absent for some time, and as expected no one ever reach out to me. Isn’t funny? I always do my best to be there for people and when I need someone, just a listening ear, there is none.

Maybe I just really need to tap out and let down my maigre expectations from this life, let my soul die and just leave my body to live in this cruel world.